I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
