I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
