idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize