my mouth tastes like poor choices
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
