Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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