They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
