eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
