I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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