Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
