my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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