I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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