My liver just broke up with me...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize