I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
third nipple confirmed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
