he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
