you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
