Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
