I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize