i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
