dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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