I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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