help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
