Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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