I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
