She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
