Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i will never coherently bang her
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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