Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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