real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
