it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
