Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
