five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Drunk is not a location!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
