I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
