He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
