i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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