Plan B is the new Plan A
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
