the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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