weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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