Yo dont text me then not text me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
