all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize