went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize