Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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