yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
