Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
