i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize