I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
