I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I just sharted jello shots
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