id be glad to
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
