great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
