Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
