Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
