you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
