I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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