just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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