They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
