there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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