Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
