is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
