can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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