I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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