Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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