So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
