So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
