Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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