Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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